The Hourglass

I was once finding myself smiled when my daddy's keyboard touched by my really small fingers. 

That day, I got the perfect score at school. Computer class.

I was finding myself so damn cool, have the ability to write down my own story, me thought.

Then I was carelessly have the intention to be a writer, another careless dream beside wanna-be a kindergarten teacher.

The 8-years-old-me said, "One day I'll release my own book. My own story that I made with my own brain. A really cool story." 

That time, I didnt know that human could easily change any volition into a past.

Because yet, I dont make any. 

I'm too shy to believe I could. 

I'm too afraid to be claimed as a copy-paste-sister. 

My big sissy did it first. 

It was when the Hourglass started to gave me the limited time. 

"The bottom bulb is on the upside. And vice versa. My sand starting to flow."

I was once finding myself smiled when my daddy's bought me new teenlit novel and my big sissy lent me her new teenlit novel she bought herself.

That day, I got the new sensation of entering the new world when I read them.

I was finding the author of the book were so damn cool, have the ability to write down their own fiction story, me thought.

Then I was carelessly have the intention again to be a writer, another careless dream that started to reappear after the dream of wanna-be a kindergarten teacher was left out.

The 15-years-old-me said, "One day I'll release my own book. My own story that I made with my own brain. A really cool story."

That time, I didnt know that human could be a coward once they facing the insecurities.

Because yet, I dont make any.

I'm still too shy to believe I could.

I'm too afraid that my stories wouldnt be good enough for people to read.

My big sissy did it too good. 

It was when the Hourglass reminded me the limited time. 

"The upper bulb showing my sands keep flowing to the bottom bulb."

I was once finding myself smiled when my big sissy told me about her new blog, after times she told me the other blogs a couple months before.

That day, I got the feeling that blog is the best invention for a halucinatory girl like me.

I was finding my big sissy has her own satisfaction when she decided to have so many blogs which she divided them into her stories, her daily life, and her colaboration with her bestie.

Then I was carelessly have the intention again to be a writer, another careless dream that started to reappear again after all my dreams I buried six feet under scream because maturity makes you hard to believe you could reach the summit of your goals.

The sweet-17th-me said, "One day I'll release my own book. If I'm not, at least I have my own blog. I have a lot of cool thought to share anyway."

That time, I didnt know that human could easily befriend with sloth.

Because yet, I dont make any.

I'm still too shy to believe I could.

I'm too afraid that my stories even my shares would be worth enough for people to read.

Anyone did it too good.

It was when the Hourglass turned the other cheek of mine to look at the limited time.

"The sand inside quickly filling up the bottom bulb from the upper bulb."

I was once finding myself smiled when I started to remember all I've made.

That day, I remembered all the things I've made since I was 8 until now. My childish stories, my fiction stories, my blog with quirky name on the address, my framework of the plot novel I wish to finish.

I was finding all of them were deleted like trashes.

Then I was carelessly regret for all I did after looking for many excuses for myself the reason why I turned them into my past only. Untill now.

I tried to recall another efforts I've made. I remember that I've ever made a blog I wished to share a lot of thought. Now, with a small efforts I tried to rebuild my childhood careless dream.

This time, I learnt that human was the greatest creature God has made because after all the things had forgotten, I could barely remember my own path which lead me here. 

Because yet, I started to make one of any thought I could.

I'm still afraid that I wouldnt keep my progresses quite persistent but I think its worth enough for my journey to start.

Anyone could do it good.

I turn my face to the Hourglass. It shown my inevitability this entire time.

"The bottom bulb is fulfilled by my sand. My time is up."

No, my time starts right now.

I hit the bulb hardly till' the bottom glass cracks. 

I hit it again and now all the sand leak out. 

Limited time?

Who knows when I'll die?

credit by Google Image